I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
All the doctor said was why
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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