You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
