I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Boobs are out for the taking
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
