Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
