some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
