Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
