I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize