i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
