did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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