My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
smell my finger.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
