The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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