i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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