Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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