Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
