Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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