fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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