We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
