i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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