i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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