She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize