A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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