After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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