Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
