I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
