Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
