3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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