this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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