Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
