I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
