I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
