Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
