It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
