...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
