Nicole vs. Life
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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