Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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