careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize