i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
