I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
