i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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