My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
