Capitaan dildo arrescate!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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