next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
