I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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