Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is my gift to your gina
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
