Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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