I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
