I bet he comes in French.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
