Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
