I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
