she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
