super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
