why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
