Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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