Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
