Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
