Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
