I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
