Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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