im drinking this country out of the recession.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize