just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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