I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
