i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
