I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
