chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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