You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
