By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
