I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
