In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
